What does depression feel like?
Depression can be isolating, overwhelming, and energy depleting. Your you-ness has gone missing and your motivation has evaporated too. Depression is miserable, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Therapy for depression can help.
Here are some of the ways it might show up:
Your energy has drained out of you and there isn’t enough left to get out of bed let alone leave the house and do your day. Even if you could get up nothing really seems to matter anyway. You are just there, alone with your thoughts, the ones that are harsh and sharp and won’t let up. You’re stuck, trapped in there, while the world around you keeps moving forward without you. The weight of it all is just so heavy. You are either feeling an onslaught of intense emotions, or you feel too numb and detached to feel anything at all.
The guilt for not being able to handle it is ever-present. You think you should be able to do more, but it’s just out of reach. The longer this goes on, the louder the critical thoughts get reminding you of all the ways you are coming up short, lacking, failing. You want to protect others from the burden you put on them so you pull away. You don’t feel worthy of their support. Their attention is a reminder of how undeserving you feel.
Any part of that feel familiar?
Common Co-occurrences
Many of the clients I work with on their depression are also sometimes dealing with other issues like ADHD or complicated body image.
ADHD
There are places where the experience of ADHD and depression can overlap.The repeated struggles with everyday tasks and interactions can leave you feeling disappointed and frustrated to the point that you feel defeated. Maybe you see others around you reaching their goals and wonder how they manage it when it feels so hard for you. Some days the inertia feels too powerful to overcome and you feel frozen no matter how much you want to move forward and you feel helpless. Or maybe your hyperactivity is misunderstood by others and you feel like the odd one out. You have grown tired of knowing that you possess so much potential but can’t seem to manifest it into something real that you feel proud of. It can lead to doubting yourself and your capabilities. Reinforced by messages from society that you are deficient and not measuring up. You may start to believe that there is something hopelessly wrong with you that you’ll never overcome no matter how hard you try. You want to feel more connected and less alone but you struggle to find people and spaces where you fit in and feel you belong so you resign yourself to your loneliness. Sometimes emotions feel so chaotic and out of control that it can overwhelm and take a toll on you . Sometimes the world is so overstimulating that it all feels like too much or so understimulating that it feels hard to engage. These factors and more can contribute to the development of depression or worsen existing depression. As an ADHD-affirming therapist, I’m here to explore how this combination may be impacting you and your well-being and ways to shift your narrative.
Body Image
For some of my clients, their particular flavor of depression includes difficulty with the relationship they have with their bodies. You compare your body to others and usually end up feeling inadequate. You have the feeling people are judging your appearance harshly. You are often criticizing yourself for not living up to certain beauty ideals, exercise routines, or eating habits. The messages you are receiving keep telling you your body is wrong or bad. You feel like all or parts of your body are gross and make you unlovable. You think you’d finally be happy if your body was just a little bit different, but you can’t seem to get there. You feel so uncomfortable in your own skin that your body does not feel like a safe place to be and you start to feel disconnected from your body and numb. While I am not an Eating Disorders therapist, I am sensitive to the fact that our relationships with our bodies have a major influence on our sense of self, our mood, and how we experience our world and move through our lives. That’s why I think holding space to learn more about your body image and how you can begin to change that relationship to your body can be so important in therapy.
With both body image issues and ADHD, co-occurring symptoms of depression can feel overwhelming. You may have come to believe that there must be something wrong with you. While having this thought is totally common, that doesn’t make it true. You are not broken, and you are not alone. Let’s break it down together.
When you are in the middle of depression it feels like it will go on forever. Like there is no end in sight, and you will always feel this way. It’s hard to imagine a better future, it’s hard to have hope. I know that this can make you just want to give up and disappear, I’ve been there. But as hard as it is to believe, I know change is possible and things can improve. I also know that making this shift takes effort and I’m here to support you along the way.
We’ll work together to keep you from getting pulled down in the undertow and help you find your way back to the surface. If you’re ready to get to the bottom of your depression and find your way out, I am ready to join you.
